Alone by Moon

As our submissions reviewer noted, this story of sorrow shows you how life isn't fair and there is no black and white, "bad" and "good" out there. Enjoy this wonderful story by Moon!

It was one winter morning here in Cincinnati, Ohio. I had just finished drinking my Dunkin' Iced Macchiato and was preparing to head to my makeshift studio down in the basement. Finally, after nine months waiting, I was going to record and publicly release my first ever song, "Alone". Singing has always been my greatest strength and passion, and it now serves as my mental therapy. I have been struggling with occasional anxiety attacks recently and have been knowingly quite unhappy. How can I say that? Simple. I feel like I'm never good enough, and "Alone" expresses exactly that. I'm all alone.

The other day, I told my mom, who apparently didn't have any clue of what I was doing these past few days, that when it would be finally out, I would share the song with all my friends.

She replied, "Why would you do such a thing to embarrass yourself? Are you out of your mind?"

"It's just that I thought-," I stammered, losing control of every nerve I had left.

"Well, what is it?" she interrupted.

"-that my family was supportive of this big dream of mine," I barely finished the sentence.

My dad, eating at the kitchen counter, approached me, "Your mother is right, Abi. We wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself like that. I mean, not just so easily."

I hesitated, trying to process all that had been said to me.

"What's to be embarrassed about?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but your singing sucks," smirked Tristan, my annoying little brother.

"Wait a minute, did my father, mother, and brother - my whole family - just say that I'm terrible? Terrible at doing what I love?!" was what was racing through my head. I felt crushed, as if my energy and so-called talent were slowly draining from me, piece by piece.

How will my friends react when they hear my music if my own family doesn't even appreciate it? This will just show everyone that I'm even more of a failure than I already am!

My shock turned into sadness as I soon realized what would happen and what was to become of my dream.

A tear slowly slid down my cheek as I watched the mourning doves peck on the seeds from our bird feeder that lay hanging at the end of a thick branch. They were mourning for me, I believed.

My songwriting notepad was lying on the coffee table, where I last left it since I had the mental breakdown. It has been exactly an hour, and I was still in the same place and at the same position where I was last seen, next to the window in the cozy, heated living room. I should've been in the basement doing what I thought I did best, but I was too emotionally unstable right now and instead, just stared gloomily at the falling shreds of ice landing on our front yard.

I didn't smile, just sighed. I didn't laugh, just cried. And the worst of all, I simply let everything I worked my whole life for slip through my fingers like measly grains of sand.

The day flew by surprisingly quickly, and I was ready to tuck myself under the covers of my warm, comfy bed; to shut out any emotions from conquering and controlling my body, mind, and soul. Before switching the lights out, I glanced at my phone for the first time today and found more than

a hundred notifications of comments on several of my posts just sitting there, waiting to be answered.

"What was so exciting about a few posts?" I wondered, finally thinking positively.

I was too tired to read them all, but little did I know that what I would wake up to the next morning would make a huge difference in my life and in the lives of the people I loved and cared for the most.

-------------------------- THE NEXT DAY -----------------------------

It started off fairly normal until I checked my phone again. The notifications were still there, as always, but what did the comments say? I was dying to know.

"She probably didn't even write the song! What trash!" said one.

"What does she know? I heard her family didn't even like the song! Haha! Shame on you!" read another.

"Why would I want to support you? All you have ever given me was a headache!" was the last one I read before slamming my head against the door.

I didn't feel the physical pain, just the loneliness, despair, and frustration.

I thought, "If they all wish to see me fall, I will fall! I will give up, give up life, so I will never have to see this world again! I am just a useless, worthless creature who doesn't deserve to exist and is incapable of doing anything to make others happy anyways! No one will miss me when I'm gone, so what's the point of living?"

I look back to see my parents sobbing hysterically. It hadn't been 'til then that I realized I had screamed at the top of my lungs like I was swearing of some sort. My parents were too choked up to mutter even a single word.

"What have I done?"

In a desperate last effort to reassure them and make things right, I said in a rushed tone of voice, "No, no, that's not what I meant!"

"I just hate my talentless self! Why do I have to be born this way?" I said, making matters worse. I couldn't help it; I had the urge to get it out there. After all, it's how I really feel!

It turns out that my mom was in an ongoing group call with Robyn and Georgina, my best friends, and they had heard everything!

I felt terrible. I had hurt, not only my family, but my friends, too. Then, it hit me, "Why was she in a call with MY friends?"

"What were they all involved in that I had no clue of?"

Using all the breath and strength she had left, my mother tried to explain, "I- it was su- supposed to be a secret," she started, "pla- planning for y- your 'release party', Abi."

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, "M- my release party?"

"I guess you'd rather be alone though, am I right? That's what you said you wanted," she said, sounding hurt and miserable.

"I- No! I said that's not what I meant!"

My mom then played something on her phone, and they both walked away. "I hope you will soon realize and learn from this song of yours because it has just become a reality," was the last line I ever heard from her again, and my mind could never stop thinking of that moment 'til I, too, left this world for good. All I needed was the spark, the curtain rope, and the stool close by the coffee table...

Song (Alone) coming soon!